You’re all gussied up or, maybe you’re in your rattiest sweats, whatever; you’re one of the hundreds walking down the street. You don’t know them, they don’t know you. The easiest way to introduce yourself to them? Throwing yourselves at their feet. Nope! You haven’t read that wrong…  What do I mean? Trip over you own feet and crash land near theirs…

I am one of those not so ‘normal’ humans; clumsy and accident prone. Someone who manages to trip on flat surfaces (no joke!) which, all of those ‘well-balanced’ strangers seem to navigate quite smoothly. And it doesn’t matter where I am, my legs never seem to co-operate with my brain or they are just jerking me around, literally!

My entire being feels like it’s on fire when this happens. However, I am so used to (translation ‘fed up’) of hearing the comments and suggestions given to me while I am lying flat on my back, with raised arms, hoping some of those ‘advicers’ (a.k.a. ‘idjeets’ as I like to call them), will realize that I am expecting a helping hand, not because I’ve been frozen like that in the fall. And to top it off, you are also dealing with the awesome pain that is making itself aware after the initial numbness. And let me tell you something, pain is pain. Whether it’s the gleaming tiles in malls, the concrete pavements or the mud path littered with gravel. Ouch! would be too small a word for that. The bigger ‘Ouch!’ is being subjected to the gawks and smirks and sometimes outright laughter, after such instances.

Yet, how does one cure clumsiness? My remedy is to not wear heeled footwear. It’s either flats or flats (though I am a proud owner of two, rarely used, pairs). But like any girl, my hands do automatically reach towards the pointy, attractive devils at the shoe stores, I hold myself back, ruthlessly, thinking of the after effects of falling down while wearing those beauties.

I’ve resigned myself to walking slowly (not snail like though). Each floor is stepped on after careful deliberation of its smoothness etc. So, if you all find someone whom you’ve seen doing the very thing I’ve described above, maybe you’ve seen me or someone just like me…