gossip

Under the Microscope

/ novumlorem / 2 Comments

I was born and brought up in Dubai. Being a NRI (non-resident Indian) is quite the experience. Being a woman and NRI is out of the world. Here are a few things I’ve learnt, on my own or through my friends…

  1. Girls should not hug male members in public, even though they may your grandfather, brother or husband.
  2. Do not wear shorts, including knee length ones. Even if your parents and immediate family members are cool with it, the mauhalle waale (neighbours etc.) definitely will have problems. Not to mention the stares and whispers.
  3. Never question religious rituals. I once made the “mistake” of asking my mother why they waste litres of milk by pouring it on a stone idol flowing into the drain, when lots of destitute people, including young children are waiting outside the temples walls? Wouldn’t it e beneficial to give it to them; their stomachs would be relieved from the hunger pains for at least a while, right? Believe me when I say the expressions of horror would have burnt me had they had the power, and gasps of exclamation would have been heard throughout the city that day. Plus the lectures about respecting the Gods, and how I would have to ask for God’s forgiveness, failing which I would incur untold wrath. Since I am writing about this 2 years later, guess God thought my point valid.
  4. Girls should not talk or laugh out loud. Apparently doing so is considered as uncouth or disrespectful, God forbid. I still have no idea how that one works.
  5. We should never reveal the fact that we do not know cooking, or that we hate household chores. Or that we drink (BIG no-no); or have boys as friends, so on and so forth, you all get the idea.
  6. Be prepared for the assumptions that since you’ve been brought up outside, you don’t speak the mother tongue, eat the native dishes, and voicing your opinions on a subject is considered as being spoilt.
  7. Relatives will have an opinion about everything you do or want to do in life; education, clothing, how you behave, work etc.. Be prepared with PPTs if you decide to challenge said views or hold your silence forever.

I could go on and on about what’s wrong with people’s attitude. Thankfully people have started questioning the rigid thinking, so it is getting better.

Change is slow, yes?

Our Life on a Rainy Day

/ novumlorem / Leave a comment

The sound of rain is a most welcome one. For someone who was brought up in the desert, the smell of the earth after the first drops of rain is as intoxicating as the bouquet of 200 year old Scotch for an alcoholic. For the first time in a very long time, I arrived in India to a very pleasant weather; cool moist winds, bringing in the scent of clouds heavy with rain was a pleasant surprise after many years of dry monsoon, and I found myself wishing to a rain God (if there is one!), that the it would rain here rather than elsewhere.  And the rain God answered!!! By mid-afternoon, the rains started slowly but then gathered its full strength and went on till early next morning. It made the atmosphere cozy, something that only rains of this nature can create. My mum, sister and I, settled down to a typical rainy day behaviour armed with cups of hot tea (lemonade and chocolates in my case) and pakoras (fried vegetable fritters), for gossip/catching up sessions. Before my sister was married, and rains were plenty, there were always days like these; we would talk about our lives, our friends and troubles we were having at that time and discussions and argument would be plenty and be conducted at the top of our voices.

However this session yesterday initiated a new member into our routine, my one-month-old niece, Niharika. So, much time was spent on all of us observing the smallest gestures she did. My mum and sister had, what I am assuming to be a normal one, a good sentimental session on the joys of being a mother, which left me to be the one to run for tissues and the offerer of the shoulder, or just simply be enraptured by the baby. When the thunder was loud enough to scare her, we took turns rocking and soothing her, while the tea got colder.

This session also made us recall the times of when we had been younger and our grandma had been able, she would regale us with stories of her youth and her life. How she and my grandfather eloped almost 50 years ago; the struggles of bringing up 4 children; the fun they used to have running their shops; tales of their friends we are not inclined to believe at all (who would believe that old, grouchy, toothless, fiend Mr. X, had actually written poems for the girl who would become his wife, in order to woo her!!!!). In these stories, there were always lessons to be learnt; about life, love, how to manage ones’ responsibilities; how to have fun, to laugh, to enjoy life’s littlest pleasures; value one’s friendship, to never ever take advantage of a friend’s generousity and even if one had, to always remember that favour. Nowadays, she is mostly bed-ridden and under care, and cannot sit with us to tell us any more of those wonderful stories… but she has told us enough for us to pass on to the future generation; to our children, babies of our cousins and their respective spouses… something to be cherished, and remembered with love….