A year ago, you started bleeding from your nose. You, who had just finished inhaling your breakfast, started moaning and just looked up at us scared. Our world stopped! It just stopped!

Your dad said, this is bad, this is very bad. Why don’t you get me towels and wipes, we have to take him to the doctor now.

You moved over while he mopped up your blood, and I held a towel to your still bleeding nose while telling your brother to stay where he was. He still toddled over and sat beside you, all the while telling me that you had an ouch!

We loaded you up in the car, with more towels and sped off. We tried to not jostle you while making the effort to hand you off to the experts to find out what’s wrong. But we did, because you got scared and started fighting us. They had to sedate you while running tests as you wouldn’t let them near you.

We sat outside and waited with fear running through every fibre of our being! Everytime the doors opened, we would shoot out of chairs, only to have another set of parents being called.

When you finally were rolled out, you were weak and drowsy, and the look on the orderlies faces didn’t reassure us. We knew, we knew in that moment, you wouldn’t be with us too long.

The diagnosis came, severe liver and kidney failure. We were numb. The doctor said a lot of stuff, but then stopped when we didn’t react. He told us to wait outside, take a moment, and then he would talk to us again. We did. It still didn’t register.

They said they could try a treatment to see if they could arrest the failure, but that it was doubtful. We did. It didn’t do anything to help your body.

You looked at us. Your eyes were calm and pleading. We knew. God did we know! We knew you were asking us to let you go! We didn’t want to. But we did.

So on August 16th, 2021, you took your last car ride, your last hugs and kisses from us, and then you were led to the table where you would close your eyes for the last time.

You were our first baby.

We will miss you a lot!

We will always love you Jimmy boy!